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Ray Pennetti / Joe Currie at the Funny Farm

Sat, 04 Apr 2009 00:00:00 -0700

Here we had a medium-sized audience, so there was still room for additional patrons had you been there, and it was just an awesome show, both in my opinion and the praise from the audience as they left.

Start with Feature act Joe Currie. Now I'd seen both Joe and Ray last year at the FF, but it was on the porch during mosquito and blackfly season, so that was hardly a fair assessment. They were good then, but tonight when I could really pay attention, I was able to truly enjoy the show. Joe's act-outs, voice modulation, and material combine to make a thoroughly enjoyable 30 minutes of essentially non-stop entertainment. The audience was with him from start to finish, even (especially) birthday girl Jan (which she herself pronounced Jeeeeeannnn). I would think Joe will be headlining very soon as he clearly has 30 very strong minutes right now, so the Funny Farm offered the opportunity, as it so often does, of seeing a comic-on-the-rise before you have to go to Proctor's and shell out big bucks for a nosebleed seat.

Headliner Ray Pennetti tells straightforward, thought-provoking humor in a low-key fashion. Almost Seinfeld-esque, although he may hate the comparison. I was especially impressed by his total command of the stage. The material was sharp and the presentation near-flawless, both indicators of many years on the road and in the full range of clubs honing his craft. This wasn't just funny material, it was funny material delivered well. Somewhat like a good story related by a top-notch writer. A joy to watch.

Why I Hate Flying

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 00:00:00 -0700

I hate flying. I believe the airlines are doing everything they can to make the experience as miserable as possible. The aisles on the planes are so small that you have to turn sideways to walk down them. And the width of the seat is about 22 inches. Have you measured your ass lately? Go ahead, I'll wait.

The average size ass in this country is probably about 48 inches across. The spillage has to creep under the armrest, which then digs into the person next to you...... and makes me very cranky. You know who you are, Mr. "I'll have ten more donuts with that diet soda".

At the beginning of the trip, the flight attendants announce there is no smoking on the plane. That's great and as a non-smoker, I appreciate that rule. But what are they gonna do to punish someone who disobeys that law - make them fly more?

The space between the seats is so tight my chin and knees grew together and formed chees..... and crackers. The last time I was so close to the person next to me, we were having sex.

Why is there only one armrest for every two people? How many arm amputees travel nowadays that planes are designed just for them? How do you divide up two inches of armrest fairly - bigger asshole takes all? At least I have one thing in my favor.

I remember when they served actual meals on planes. Not any more - first they passed out "Fischer's Party Pack" of nuts. What kind of a party can you have with six peanuts? The bag weighed 12 grams! Other than a "Let's send everyone with peanut allergies to the hospital" party, I can't think of one. And the peanuts are heavily salted. That makes time on the plane seem to stop while you wait thirty more minutes for the beverage cart to come by. And then they serve regular soda - yeah, let's fatten up the passengers more so they stay wedged in their seats forever. If they have to pee, they can use the barf bags - they can't fit in the airplane bathrooms anyway.

The bathrooms are designed for anorexics. You take too big a dump and there is no longer enough room in there for both of you.

When we landed in Atlanta, they apparently forgot we were coming. There were no open parking spots for a plane to pull into, so we sat on the tarmac for an hour. We were able to see inside the terminal, we just couldn't get to it. And since we were technically on the ground, Delta can keep saying they have a good on-time arrival rate. I guess they'd win the armrest challenge........

Andrew Schultz - Funny Farm (Gloversville)

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 00:00:00 -0700

FIRST of all let me say that Patty served me coffee in a huge BEER GLASS and REFILLED it THREE TIMES. So I'm WIRED and I'm writing this at MIDNIGHT and will probably STAY UP for several DAYS!!!

Now then show: smaller audience than The Funny Farm has had lately. Frankly a shame - those in attendance all really seemed to enjoy the show. Guest Act was Michael Blaustein, Feature was Calise Hawkins, Headliner was Andrew Schultz. Andrew had been at The Funny Farm before and had a great set. Tonight was no different. In fact, all three performers really connected with the crowd, which was not easy, as their modest number made it more important to work to people directly. Thankfully, crazy Mary up front was there to carry the ball once she opened up. Initially, she wasn't sure she wanted to participate, but that theory changed completely as the night went on.

Let me also say that Patty served me coffee in a huge BEER GLASS and REFILLED it THREE TIMES. So I'm WIRED and I'm writing this at MIDNIGHT and will probably STAY UP for several DAYS!!!

Good show - I'M SO WIRED RIGHT NOW!!!!!

P.S. - I had the BBQ rib special, which was a new offering for them, and was excellent. P.S.S - Patty served me coffee in a huge BEER GLASS and REFILLED it THREE TIMES. So I'm WIRED and I'm writing this at MIDNIGHT and will probably STAY UP for several DAYS!!!

WIRED I TELLS YA!!!!!

The Funny Farm

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 00:00:00 -0800

The headliner was Johnny Watson, the feature was Eric DaSilva, and Jon and Brian Chicokkey (sp?) did guest spots. The crowd was great, especially the very drunk man at the big table.... who probably won't remember how much he enjoyed the show. The Funny Farm is offering a special - $20.00 for a steak dinner and the show - so come out while it lasts. Maybe Jon will flash his boobies..... again...... Can't beat that!

Temple Beth-El show 11/22/08

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 00:00:00 -0800

The BEST setup - lights, stage, sound - I've ever worked with. EVER. Technical Crew-Of-One Jeff Levy provided all we could dream of, between the spot lighting, accent lighting, BACK lighting, sound mixing, stage, etc. It looked like a professional show from start to finish. They made JON look good - now THAT'S good effect-stuff. (Jon wrote that, not me.)

The lighting was generously donated, and really dressed up the Temple's showroom, which is known as 'CAFE BETH-EL'.

The show itself was excellent - I think to some extent the performers were inspired to be professional comics by the professional surroundings. I felt like I was performing on Stage 'A' in Las Vegas. Both sets went very well, with occasional call-outs from the audience that were not heckling as such, but attempts to answer rhetorical questions. Sort of like dinner at my in-law's. Let's say you called out
"Who here likes chicken"? One lady "excelled" in answering "I like chicken, broiled, with a green vegetable. But not broccoli. Although that broccolini's OK. And not fried chicken - too greasy". So as a performer you answer "Uh, OK. Anyhoo...".

Refreshments were top-notch too. OUTSTANDING cheescake donated by Northwoods Cheescake Co., wines, juices, cakes.... what a spread. Wine generously served by the Rabbi, who appeared to be in High School. I guess we're old - EVERYONE looks young to me. Except The Rolling Stones. Come on....

ANGRY BOB at The Funny Farm

Sat, 08 Nov 2008 00:00:00 -0800

I've been waiting a YEAR to see Angry Bob in Gloversville, and though I've spotted him elsewhere along the way (like walking up to the Gotham in NYC for Last Comic Standing - a super-sized comic in a black knit cap can't really go incognito), it wasn't the same as having him in Gloversville, which would be God's country if God lived in one of those "Save The Children" places where everyone's covered in flies and Sally Struthers tries to get you to donate those Jeno's Pizza Rolls you're munching on (not to the charity - to her).

ANYHOO - Angry Bob came and performed, along with a young and high-spirited comic named JOE PONTILLO (that's Pon-TILLO, as in Italian, not Pon-TEE-Yo, as in Spanish).

For the second week in a row, The Funny Farm in Gloversville had a FULL HOUSE. Not a seat to be found once the show started. The comics, who often can sit in the main room at a free table, had to wait out in the main dining room. I think Matty Goldberg (11/1) and Angry Bob (11/8) draw more people up here than anyone realizes. Otherwise it's the steak special ($20 for dinner AND show? I think that buys you a hot dog, a newspaper, and a pay toilet in most places).

Both of these comics did great judging from the audience response. Forced to sit outside the door, I didn't get to watch the performers. Joe Pontillo did a lot of act-out to accentuate his jokes, and I didn't get to see those much. The bits were funny even just listening, so I'm sure they were even better in person. I guess I'd rather have the full house and suffer a little. Being emcee, I can't go stand outside the back window and watch. That would suck when the act ended and I was still fighting my way back through the crowd. With ANGRY BOB there is a certain "something" to seeing and hearing him deliver the jokes, so I lost a little getting the audio only, but still enjoyed his set immensely (I think he'd approve of that word: "immensely"). See him when you get the chance. Also, if he still has them, buy a "TALKING ANGRY BOB-BLEHEAD". It's a bobblehead figure that looks like Angry Bob (knit cap and all) and says 8 or so phrases. I have mine on my desk at the Nuclear Power Lab, and it inspires a lot of questions (e.g., "Who the hell is THAT? Why does he have a bucket of chicken? Don't we pay you enough here? Since when are YOU funny?" Etc.). Joe Pontillo is worth catching as well - he may be a Headliner soon somewhere, so catch him while you can.

Marcy did a Guest spot which was tremendously well-received. I think the women in the audience really like laughing at the subject of most of her jokes, which appears to be me. As emcee, I have to go back onstage after being trashed for 6 or 7 minutes. Kinda sucks, really.....

I forgot to mention that it was Marjorie's 72nd birthday celebration (day after her actual birthday, I think). HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Jon Hausman - EUROPEAN TOUR 2008

Fri, 07 Nov 2008 00:00:00 -0800
Just returned from my 2008 European appearance. The totally hilarious title of the show was "Second International Conference of Organics and Organic Water Treatment Chemicals" hosted by the Electric Power Research Institute (EPRI). Wasn't really as funny as the name might imply.

FIRST I flew into Zurich, Switzerland (on a plane - I'm not Superman ferchrissakes), and let me sat that Swiss Air is a great airline. They treat you very well, even in Coach (Economy) class. As opposed to the US carrier I took to JFK in NYC, which was less like a plane and more like a tiny bus carrying chain gang prisoners to some highway in Alabama. Anyway, from Zurich I had a 1-hour train ride to my final destination in Lucerne. Lucerne is beautiful, and the train was clean, but there's something about a middle-aged Jewish guy riding a train though Europe that gives me the creeps. It's been done - I don't think it worked out too well. I kept expecting Dr. Mengele to walk in from the next car and say "Ticketen, Ja? Oh, Nein - you must sit in der JUDEN section. Ve kill you now....". That never happened, so I guess they were busy.

The conference was good, well, if you liked Nuclear Power applications it was. Except that it was right after the US election, so I had to endure Eurotrash commenting on the process in their broken English.

Lucerne is a beautiful city, except for the grafitti on the way in, which looked exactly like American grafitti except it was in German-ish (e.g., "WOLFGANG IST DER BOMB", or "#1 IST DER 57-STRASSE DUFFELEISENKRIEGERSOMNENSTOSSENBOLLSCHATENBRUNNERZIEKOSTEN VOLKENSTURMEREISENSHTUPPENVONELLENBOGEN". Or something like that.

And now I'm back in upstate NY. Kind of a letdown, really.

Matty Goldberg / Andrew Schultz at THE FUNNY FARM

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 00:00:00 -0700

First of all, this show was PACKED. FULL. People had to be turned away. That's never happened before.

Second of all, the audience was great. They laughed. They followed jokes. They applauded frequently. I've had good small audiences, but this one was good and huge.

As for the performers, certainly I was happy with my set, and I received compliments from audience members afterwards. Still, after watching the Feature (Andrew Schultz) and the Headliner (Matty Goldberg), I could see that I have things to work on to reach the next level.

Feature Act Andrew Schultz did an outstanding set, enjoyed by the audience and by me. It was 25 solid minutes - there was no let-up. He ended with what I felt was his strongest material, an extended bit about a Greek Diner. He did voices, act-outs, facial expressions....; things that really brought the joke to life. A KEY for me was that Andrew was referring to the smaller Greek diners so prevalent in NYC (where he's from). I'd bet that few IF ANY patrons tonight had ever been in a diner like the one he described. HOWEVER, it didn't matter, as he successfully "brought them into his reality". They 100% enjoyed the story and understood it because he conveyed the diner well, even if the audience hadn't actually been to one. This is harder than it looks, and one thing that separates amateurs from pros. Between laughing fits, I noted to myself to "work on that".

Headline act Matty Goldberg was back doing what he does best: being Matty Goldberg. Matty has that rare ability to be such a character that even "straight" lines are greeted with laughter, and jokes even more so. Really enjoyed his act, as did another person I spoke with after the show who had seen him last time he was at The Funny Farm. In the Main Room on the way out after the show, many people stopped to tell him how much they enjoyed the show.

Probably the best show overall I've ever been a part of.

Happy Birthday (10/10-11/6) to all those who were celebrating.

A big thanks to Holly, Holly's sister, and all the fun ladies at Holly's table!

Jon & Marcy - Funny Farm work with "Florida Frank"

Sun, 28 Sep 2008 00:00:00 -0700

Big crowd to kick off the new season. There were two birthday girls in the audience having a blast, although I don't think either one will remember being there. And to Frank from Florida, we will always remember you. Thank goodness you let someone else drive the Mattel BIG WHEEL on the way home....

It turned out to be a good show, although the crowd was (as always) a little "odd", in that some people shouted out comments when it probably was not helpful, or... always. Even though it will hurt their sales, maybe the Farm needs to institute a 10-drink maximum. I'm surprised they haven't been the targets of some kind of DWI litigation yet, but my guess is that most of the patrons who get stopped can't remember where they've been that night (or month).

'Frank From Florida' was there (I can think of another F-word to start that phrase, but I'll be nice). His kids wore head-kerchiefs (do-rags), and he wore a baseball cap; I'm not sure at what age the transition occurs, but obviously somewhere along the line.

In the BEGINNING..... there was light, although at the FF this means a Dollar Store spotlight focused on your crotch. But in the beginning, when Frank still had ingested less than 8 drinks, he signalled his approval to a joke with a "Thumbs Up" sign. Later, as he passsed the "12 drink" milepost, he signalled his approval by spilling everything in front of him, including his wife, who we helped up. On the way home, he signalled his approval by throwing up in the backseat. Boy Howdy....

Jon & Marcy "appear" (sort of) on Late Nite with Conan O'Brien

Sat, 27 Sep 2008 00:00:00 -0700

These tix were part of the prize package for JOKIN' JONNY MOOCOW winning the Make Your Own Commercial contest for Huck Finn's Warehouse. The prize also included round-trip fares on scenic AMTRAK; since they did not have a "CATTLE CAR", and refused to qualify JJM as "handicapped", the bovine jokester generously donated his tickets to Jon and Marcy (JJM's quote: "They call themselves a TRAIN?! They don't even have a COW CATCHER! It's total B.S. - and I mean that literally as well as figuratively").

So anyway, the guests were Brooke Shields, former Clinton financial hack Robert Reich (Jews just hate that name - why doesn't he just change it to Robert Gaschamber and be done with it?), and musical guest Amos Lee.

Highlight: we got to see Brooke Shields use the "F-word" on camera! It probably got bleeped for home viewers, or else the FCC will shut down NBC. She was using a foreign accent when she did it, so maybe she really meant to say "FROCK". Doubt it, though. She seemed pretty certain.

TV in the studio's not like it looks at home. They're masters of quasi-deception.... They make it look very good though - sort of like being in the kitchen at a fancy restaurant and seeing what really goes into that $45 chateaubriand.....

So we enjoyed it - a valuable experience, overall. One caveat - they really don't treat you very well as audience members, and we were actually VIP guests, treated marginally better than the rest. Don't go expecting to be treated like they want you there, or expecting a bathroom either. By the time the musical guest comes on at the end, all you can think about is peeing, no offense to Amos Lee. In one skit, Conan had a urinal on-stage, and I was REALLY thinking about...... Anyway, if you're going, no coffee for 2 days beforehand.